Diary of Uzumaki Naruto
by Dragon.of.the.shadows
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto is new at a prestigious boarding school, where he meets Uchiha Sasuke, the rest is history. The author is too tired and too lazy to write proper summary. includes SasuNaru and others which are not decided yet.
1. Of Roommates and Bastards

**Warning: rated M for a reason.. that will not be evident in this chapter but hopefully soon enough ^^'**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own twisted brain and bad grades.**

**A/N: Hello. I'm too tired to write anything here, so enjoy.**

**oOoOoOoOoOo Yo oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Dear Journal._

_Tomorrow I have to go to a whole new school._

_That sounded sort of stupid , didn't it?_

_I'm scared. I mean, it IS a school for the rich. Lifestyles of the rich and Famous... haha... well anyway, what if I don't fit in? I'll probably be "that smart commoner's kid"._

_I hate my life._

_Why did I have to be born intelligent? I mean (note to self: stop saying " I mean") I like the same sort of thing that the others do... basketball, video games, TV... I'm just good at school as well._

_Why am I writing this?_

_Oh, right, I'm nervous about tomorrow. I still am. I don't want to go._

_It's getting late, I should go to sleep._

_Yours sincerely – Uzumaki Naruto._

**oOoOoOoOoOo No comment oOoOoOoOoOo**

_**Black hair and eyes,**_

_**Like 007 in disguys,**_

_**Skin as white as silk,**_

_**Even whiter than milk,**_

_**How I'd like you to love me,**_

_**Oh, can't you see?**_

_**Your coldness is hurting me!**_

_**But I still love you,**_

_**Oh, what can I do?**_

_**To stop this burning love?**_

_**Help me, cuz I do not know,**_

_**I love you.**_

_**-Your secret admirer.**_

The poem had been pressed in to his locker, and the dark-haired receiver was sad to say, that it was one of the best ones he'd gotten lately.

The tall form of Uchiha Sasuke sighed in defeat. The fangirls were everywhere, and there was nothing that could be done about it.

Giving the horribly written poem one last glare he threw it on the floor, not caring enough to find a trashcan. He closed his locker and turned to leave, the poem forgotten, when he heard a rustle of clothes behind him. It was early in the morning, so early that no one else had arrived yet, or so he had thought.

Uchiha Sasuke always arrived early to school, for multiple reasons. One of them being that he could get his books and sit down in his classroom without being mobbed by fangirls, another that he, like most Uchihas, liked to be in control.

And now, he was certain he'd heard someone moving a few steps away. Had the fangirls come early just to torment him? No, then they would have attacked and violently raped him instead of just standing behind him. A laugh startled him, the person behind him was laughing! What the hell was this?

"Is this yours?" Sasuke could not say that he recognized the voice, but then again he never really paid that much attention to the people in school. Turning around, he faced a blonde boy, about his age but quite small and feminine. He wore an amused expression and was waving the poem Sasuke had found in his locker just minutes earlier.

"Not anymore" he replied. Just what he did _not_ need this early in the morning, a conversation with some madly grinning idiot.

"Why, don't have the nerve to be in a relationship with someone who can't spell disguise?" the smile on the blondes face grew even wider and he glanced down at the paper again. "And who doesn't know better than to use "cuz" in a poem." The boy's voice was bubbling with laughter as Sasuke's cheeks turned slightly pink.

"The spelling problems of the girls in this school are the English teacher's concerns, not mine" he answered, his tone now edged with the characteristic Uchiha coldness.

"Take it easy" the other answered "I don't blame you for throwing it away, really, it sucks. It's nothing like what a love poem should be." Sasuke felt his patience running low, soon others would be arriving and he would no longer be able to get to his classroom safely.

"I think all poems are crap" he said now, enjoying the look of slight shock evident in the unknown boy's features.

"What?" the other looked hurt, was love poems that important to him? "How can you say that? Poems are a way to tell someone how you feel without blurting it out. They're supposed to be subtle and make the person _feel_ what you feel, not read what you feel. You're supposed to write from your heart, and not care about stupid rhymes." The pure look that entered the blonde's eyes made Sasuke realise that this boy was deeper than he seemed. It also made him notice the eyes of the stranger. They were large and had a colour that Sasuke could only associate to as "heaven". Not sky, heaven. That was the colour of this strange boy's eyes.

Heaven.

"Keep it if you're so fond of all that lovey-dovey stuff" he muttered, turning and walking away again.

"I will, teme!!" A voice called after him. Annoying idiot...

"Do I care dobe?" he called back without turning, surprising himself. It was unlike him to yell insults at complete strangers in the hallway, even if they started it. Somehow that moron had gotten to him. And he didn't even know his name...

**oOoOoOoOoOo I'm too tired to write anything of importance here today, but keep an eye open for super-important messages about the world, penguins and word-domination-plans oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Student files Konohagakure Boarding School for Exceptional Talents: Uzumaki Naruto, second year._

_Full name: Uzumaki Naruto._

_Date of birth: 10-10-1993._

_Parents/guardians: Parents dead, lives with his older brother Uzumaki Kyuubi who is also his legal guardian._

_Phone number: 131-24666_

_Grades freshman year:_

_Math: A_

_Science: A_

_Chemistry: A_

_Biology: A_

_English: A_

_French: A_

_Art: A_

_History: A_

_PE: A_

_Home Economics: A_

_Additional notes:_

_Uzumaki Naruto earlier attended Konoha high. He was accepted at Konohagakure Boarding School for Exceptional Talents for his excellent grades and high intelligence quote._

_From earlier teachers he has been described as "an exceptional student with personal problems" according to Konoha high's records he is kind and helpful but can suddenly "snap" and cause troubles if put under too much pressure. What kind of "pressure" they refer to is not clear from the files and will be investigated. _

**oOoOoOoOoOo Hello ^^ oOoOoOoOoOo**

"Kyuu, I'm home!" Naruto yelled the moment he stepped inside the door. The Uzumaki brothers lived in a small house in one of the less prestigious neighbourhoods in town, but definitely not the worst. The little white building had a tiny garden and only one floor but it was cosy and felt just the way a real home should.

Warm and comfy.

A redhead showed up in the doorway to the kitchen, smiling broadly and showing of his fanglike teeth.

"How was the first day?" he asked, gesturing for Naruto to take a seat in the room he just left. Smiling, Naruto sat down at their Kitchen table as Kyuubi started making tea.

"Not bad, didn't happen much, but I have to leave soon. I just came to pick up the last of my stuff." The bright room seemed to become colder instantly. Even though both brothers knew this was "for the best" neither of them was too happy with Naruto moving out and living at his new school.

"Have you met your roommate yet?" Kyuubi asked now, putting down a cup of tea in front of his little brother.

"No" Naruto drank some of the hot liquid, enjoying the feeling of warmth that sitting in his own kitchen with his brother and sipping tea sent throughout his body. "But I'll probably meet him today, he can't stay away all night, can he?"

"No, I suppose not" Kyuubi said, nodding "listen Naruto, if you ever need help with anything or-" the blonde cut him off:

"I'll call you immediately, I know Nii-san" he smiled brightly at his brother, and Kyuubi found himself smiling back.

**oOoOoOoOoOo -GASP- Is that- is that??? It is!! It's... THE ICE-CREAM MAN!!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Uzumaki Naruto- building two, room fourteen._

The room was as good as he could expect from a boarding school. One large room containing two beds, two desks and a small kitchen where you couldn't really cook, but at least make tea and other necessary liquids. A door leading to a small bathroom was located not too far from the port to the hallway.

Naruto had been here before, he and Kyuubi had spent most part of the day before moving in all Naruto's stuff, but this time the room contained something it hadn't done the previous day.

His roommate.

He was stretched out on the other bed, eyes closed but not asleep from the looks of it. He didn't seem to have much luggage, only a bag and a small backpack now resting at foot of his bed. Looking closer, Naruto noticed he had red hair and a ridiculous amount of what seemed like eyeliner.

"Um... hi" The blonde waved from where he stood at the opening of the room. The boy's eyes snapped open, revealing aqua depths underneath, the redhead glared coldly at Naruto, who started to seriously consider just running away and returning home to Kyuubi. But he had promised himself he would do this, freaky roommate or not, and besides, maybe the scary boy was really quite nice and welcoming and just needed a bit of kindness to open up? After this mastermind reasoning from one so-called-genius Uzumaki Naruto, he smiled and stated:

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! It seems we'll be roommates this year, ne?" The boy made no sign of moving, or saying something.

"Eh... so, what's your name?" he tried now, hoping the boy would answer because otherwise this would turn even worse. And to the blonde's surprise, the boy did answer:

"Gaara" he muttered, still fixing his eyes on Naruto. Gaining confidence, the smaller boy made his way over to his bed, sitting down on it and smiled even more towards the boy named Gaara.

"Nice meeting you Gaara" he said, hoping to continue the chat. Gaara did not answer. Nor did the answer any of the other times that the blonde tried to make conversation that evening. And as Naruto fell asleep many quiet hours later, he couldn't help but think that his new roommate somehow did not live up to the expectations he had had.

**oOoOoOoOoOo "All problems can't be solved by small potatoes" – Douglas Adams oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Schedule – Uzumaki Naruto:_

_08.00 – Math: Hatake Kakashi – Main building, floor two, room 16. _

_09.00 – English: Umino Iruka – Main building, floor two, room 11._

_10.00 – Chemistry: Orochimaru __**(A/N: anyone know his first name, or is Orochimaru his first name? O.o)**__ – Main building, floor two, room 20._

_11.00 – French: Yuuhi Kurenai – Main building, floor two, room 4._

_12.00 – Lunch._

_13.00 – Science: Mitarashi Anko – Main building, floor two, room 9._

_14.00 – Art: Iwa no Deidara __**(A/N: yes, I am perfectly aware of the fact that it means Deidara of the Rock, but after all Sabaku no Gaara means Gaara of the sand, and that works...)**__ – Main building, floor three, room 6._

_15.00 – P.E: Maito Gai – Gym.¨_

**oOoOoOoOoOo "If you take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you will have on your hands, is an un-working cat" – Douglas Adams oOoOoOoOoOo**

First day of school wasn't _really_ first day of school in KBSET, it was just a few hours of "welcome back" or "welcome" which Naruto had spent being showed around school by a girl named Sakura whom he strongly suspected to have taken on the job just to show the headmaster what a "good and caring person she was".

So now, when the real first day was ahead of him, Naruto was more nervous than ever. He hadn't written in his journal last night, afraid that Gaara might find it childish, and not being able to vent his feelings made him even more distressed.

So now, he was feverishly trying to find his classroom while the clock drew closer and closer to the feared time 08.00. Usually, he came early to school, like he had done the day before, his lips were parted in a small smile at the thought of the poem he still had in his locker. He almost felt bad for the dark kid having to put up with things like that, almost, the guy was a bastard after all.

Finding the right door, he stopped. Breathing heavily and trying to calm down. His hand found the handle and he slowly opened the door and peeked in. The teacher wasn't there yet, relief washed over him and he felt almost calm as he walked in to the room.

**oOoOoOoOoOo "I love deadlines, I especially enjoy that swooshing sound they make as they rush by" – Douglas Adams oOoOoOoOoOo**

Sasuke never was much of a morning person, and the first real day of school was like facing 40 early Monday-mornings at once. He was at the very back of the classroom, skulking in corner yet still feeling like he was being watched by millions of cameras. In reality, there were just two. Karin and Sakura, the presidents of his fan-club were taking pictures for the club-magazine.

Ignoring them, Sasuke continued to feel like hell had opened and let loose all its terrors on earth, a view Shikamaru, who sat beside him, seemed to share.

Nara Shikamaru was one of the most intelligent people attending the school, as well as the laziest one, and was currently glaring at the two presidents for interrupting his morning nap.

The general humbug suddenly stopped, and Sasuke stared at the obvious reason why. A blonde, lithe form stood in the doorway, smiling nervously. Sasuke sighed; the boy from yesterday was back, hooray.

The class stared at the newcomer. The newcomer stared at the class. Shikamaru, who's day positively improved the moment the class fell silent, went back to sleep.

"H-hi" the boy fidgeted with his books, looking more frightened for every second. Finally, the class snapped out of its state of trance, and everyone started talking at the same time. Bothersome.

"Naruto" Sakura chirped, attaching herself to his arm, as if they'd been long time friends. Naruto? Was that his name? Ridiculous name. And if it was his name, how did Sakura of all people know it?

He didn't have to wait long for an answer to that question:

"I showed Naruto around yesterday!" she declared to the rest of the class, especially Karin from the looks of it. "Right Naru?"

"Naru" didn't seem to happy about the nickname, Sasuke noticed with the ghost of a smile on his lips. Poor kid, having them after him, naturally Sasuke would always be number one in the girls' book, but they enjoyed "flirting" with others as well, partially because they believed them "cute" but also in a desperate attempt to make Sasuke jealous.

At that moment, Sakura confirmed his suspicions by throwing Sasuke a look, to see how he reacted to her throwing herself at the poor blonde.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't call me Naru, Sakura" he said in a low and almost dangerous tone, completely different from the one he'd used when greeting the class.

"Why not Narutooo?" She whined, a fake pout on her lips. Naruto, who had managed to gain some of the Uchiha's respect already, loosened himself from her death-grip and went to sit in one of the rows further to the back. On his way, he seemed to spot Sasuke, immediately grinning in a far more wicked fashion.

"Oi, teme" he said loudly, how is the even-whiter-than-milk skin of yours doing?" Sasuke could tell it was a friendly sort of comment, a return for the way he'd acted yesterday, no doubt. But it still pissed him off a bit, so he answered with an uncaring expression on his face:

"Whatever, dobe" The blonde, just laughed and went to sit down. The class stared, even Shikamaru would've stared had he been awake, no one talked to Uchiha Sasuke like that.

And Uchiha Sasuke talked to no one like that.

**oOoOoOoOoOo "Craziness is like a drug, it gets you high, and makes you do stupid things, and once you've tried it, you can't stop" – Me, explaining to a friend why I always to stupid things. oOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N: Goodbye now.**

**Sasuke: What do you mean, "goodbye now"? I haven't gotten laid ye-**

**Me: Quiet you! Didn't you hear me before? I'M TIRED!!!**

**Little Chibi Sasuke wants to get laid, review today.**


	2. Of SelfDoubt and Discoveries

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and blah blah blah... you know the drill...**

**A/N: Hiii.... I'm SO SO SO sorry for taking like... 9 months or something to update -_-' eeeh... I've just been really busy... Forgive me *puppy eyes***

**Naruto: I certainly will not!**

**Sasuke: Me neither!! How dare you? I will perish from sexual deprivation!!**

**Me: ...good.**

**Sasuke: I WILL KILL YOU!!!**

**Me: You go ahead and try... but if you kill me, no story, and no story, no fucking Naruto.**

**Sasuke: .............damn.**

**oOoOoOoOoOo GO ME!!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

Well this is nice. Spending some quality time with your roommate...'s bed. Gaara was out. Had been all afternoon and evening and Naruto had no idea where he'd gone. Damn antisocial people, the school was swarming with them.

The day had passed in a blur of new faces, names and places. And bout fifty percent seemed to be bastards! First, there was the boy from the day before... Uchiha Sasuke. Now _that_ was a jackass type A.

They had had almost all classes together and as Naruto soon discovered, the guy wasn't just snobby and socially incompetent, but also completely disregarded others feelings. Some shy girl had come up to him, all nervous and shivering with adrenaline from finally bringing up the courage to talk to her crush. And what had he done? That bastard glared at her, and then walked away! WALKED AWAY!

And then there was Hyuuga Neji in his French class, he took third years French class since he spoke it so well, and the Hyuuga, a third year, decided next to him was a good place to sit.

The two of them could be twins; both were as rude, antisocial, hot... hang on, what? Did he just think that? _Hot?_ He was not gay! Not in any aspect, he was as straight as the next man. No gay here. Gay no no... Was he gay? He never had found any girls attractive... but that was because they were all so stupid! That was his intellect speaking, not his sexual preferences. That's right, he was _straight_.

.......he so needed his journal. NOW!

**oOoOoOoOoOo GO GREENPEACE!!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Dear Journal._

_Am I GAY???!!!!! I just cannot believe that! That would be impossible! I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E-!-!-!_

_All guys can think about other guys as hot, right? RIGHT? It's not that I'm gay, I'm just... normal, that's it, normal! NORMAL!!_

_(why do I keep spelling things out in capital letters?)_

_I am not GAY! ..No Ok, now I'm ranting..._

_NOOO!! The two bastards are not "hot"._

_Uchiha Sasuke is not hot._

_Hyuuga Neji is not hot._

_And Gaara is not hot!!! _

_...I just got Gaara into this. When did that happen? Fuck this._

_I am straight. What could cause a straight man to have gay thoughts?_

_Sexual deprivation._

_That's it! I need a girlfriend!! That's all, phew that's a relief.. can't believe I actually thought I was gay for a moment there._

_So, who will be the lucky one?_

_I'll decide tomorrow, in class._

_Well goodnight and ha- GAARA just came back!! What do I do? I pretend like I'm doing homework! Yes, good thinking Naruto, homework, homework, homework... shit, he's not alone. Who is that behind him? God that man has large eyebrows... he's glaring at me._

_I'm writing, I'm writing homework!! Don't glare at me Gaara!!!_

_We've been introduced, his name is Lee. AND he's actually nice! YES Gaara has a nice friend, who's about to leave but he's a nice fr- WTH???_

_They just kissed. I cannot believe this. My roommate just kissed his friend. ON THE MOUTH. WITH TONGUE!!!_

_Gaara is gay._

_Fucking great, I have a gay roommate._

_I'm going to kill myself now._

_Bye Bye._

_-Naruto._

**oOoOoOoOoOo GO SASUNARU!!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

Naruto didn't know how to act. This was the first time he'd ever seen two homosexuals kiss, and it freaked him out that he wasn't bothered by it.

The redhead didn't say anything, but simply sat down at his desk writing something.

Naruto wasn't sure if he were imagining the strained feeling in the air, he felt sick. Not so much because of the whole "I-have-a-gay-roomie" situation, more like an identity crisis.

Time to make that 911-call to Kyuubi, he thought.

But that would have to be tomorrow, he had to get to bed, even though he doubted he would ever be able to sleep.

**oOoOoOoOoOo GO SOMETHING!!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

Classes seemed to pass utterly slowly; they were still as filled with bastards as the day before, but Naruto didn't notice, he was too tired and too confused to actually care. All he wanted was to call Kyuubi.

Unfortunately, fate had another plan for him, and it involved French class. Kurenai had apparently decided that a project was the perfect way to start the term, so she divided the class into groups of three. Naruto, cursing his lucky star for taking some sort of eternal vacation, ended up with Hyuuga Neji, and Uchiha Sasuke, who also took a few senior classes.

As Naruto was plotting suicide in all the ways he could come up with, the trio seated themselves in a corner in the far back of the room.

And so French class passed, only, nothing happened. Well, except for Neji and Sasuke glaring at one another. Apparently two bastards couldn't stand one another more than the rest of humanity could stand them. Naruto noted this in his "brain-file-for-information-that-will-_surely_-be-useful-one-day". But still, he felt relieved when they left the classroom, even though they had managed absolutely nothing on their project.

**oOoOoOoOoOo Are you reading this? Good ^^ Keep up the good work!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

Rushing away through the hallways, he reached the dorms and heaved up his cell phone from his pocket.

Kyuubi answered on the third ring, his voice filled with worry.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kyuu, listen, I need to talk to you... ehh about some stuff..."

He threw himself into a detailed description about everything, leaving out the detail that he might be gay. But he wasn't. No way.

Kyuubi offered calming words of advice, telling Naruto to ignore the bastards and try to befriend his roommate.

Naruto immediately put these things on his to-do list, and bid Kyuubi farewell... after a few sobs and the beginning of a tantrum.

**oOoOoOoOoOo Well hello there ^^ oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Naruto's to-do list:_

_Get Girlfriend._

_Ignore Bastards._

_Do Laundry._

_Befriend Roommate._

_Live long happy life._

**oOoOoOoOoOo **Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. – D. Adams** oOoOoOoOoOo**

Well, this far things were coming along quite well. He had managed to talk to Gaara this morning, actually gaining a response. (Well... more of a grunt actually, but who cares?) He had managed to ignore the two bastards all day, and he even planned to do the laundry when he got back to his room.

Only the little issues of living a long happy life and getting a girlfriend left, he contemplated while scanning around the cafeteria. He was sitting at a table, surrounded by some people from his class, involving Inuzuka Kiba, a doggish boy who was dating Hyuuga Hinata, the cousin of Hyuuga Neji. The girl, whom was also seated at the table, was surprisingly nice, and very shy. In addition to that, there was Ino, a very social girl who hadn't jumped on the bitch-trend which seemed to have infected most others. Shikamaru was asleep at the end of the table, and his friend Chouji was busy consuming a humongous amount of food.

Naruto scanned the room, letting his gaze fall on all the people he could identify as girls. His eyes stuck on Sakura, who seemed to be engaged in a feverish conversation with Karin, the other big Sasuke-fangirl in school. He considered her.

Her hair was pink, which sort of disgusted him, but she had a pretty nice looking body, for a girl...

Which _of course_ was what he was looking for.

Anyway, she would probably do, even though she was annoying as hell.

"Uhmm... Naruto?" He snapped out of his deep girlfriend-related thoughts.

"What?" He stared at Ino with large, confused eyes. The girl shook her head:

"What were you looking at? You went all..." She made her expression go dim and stared into outer space, before focusing her eyes at Naruto once more.

"Oh..." Naruto said intelligently "Ino what do you know about Haruno Sakura?" Ino looked if possible even more dumbfounded.

"Lots, we used to go to the same elementary school. Why?"

"No reason... I were just thinking, maybe I'd take her out... you know, on a date" He had now managed to gain attention from everyone at the table, and some from the tables around them.

"You what?" Kiba asked, staring at his newest friend.

"Naruto..." Ino started "Sakura is a bitch! It would be suicide to date her, she would slowly kill you by mental torture."

"It's just a date." Naruto answered, resolutely standing up. With the eyes of all in his group of friends on him, he walked through the room, to where Sakura were now giggling fanatically over something. His mind set he stopped in front of her, smiling warmly. Sakura looked at him with emerald eyes, almost beautiful. But almost beautiful was still ugly.

"Hey Sakura" he began, not sure how to continue "I.. umm... I was just wondering if you're free Friday night?" Well aware that he had all the eyes in the cafeteria upon him, he waited for her to answer.

She seemed thoughtful, and Naruto noticed her eyes wandering towards the table where Sasuke was seated, watching just like everyone else. Then she seemed to make up her mind.

"Yeah, I am" She smiled what he supposed should be a flirtatious smile. He returned it and said:

"Great, how about dinner at eight?"

"Sure, I'd love to" he felt nauseous, but still managed to answer:

"It's a date then" and he leaved, head held high, walking back to his table.

Girlfriend: check.

**oOoOoOoOoOo **Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

**-D. Adams oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Dear Journal._

_I'm going out with Sakura tomorrow evening._

_Shouldn't I feel happy? Anxious? Nervous?_

_Anything?_

_All I feel is nauseous..._

_Gaara is asleep, he looks kind of peaceful, a rare sight. I actually got him to talk today, he told me have a sister, a brother and a father._

_A family, imagine that...._

_What is wrong with me? Why did I ask Sakura out when I know perfectly well I don't like her?_

_Maybe I'm schizophrenic._

_Which reminds me: mission make the bastards leave me alone worked!! ...At least half of it. Sasuke hasn't bothered me in a while now, since the day plan "ignoring" started. Thank you Kyuubi._

_Although Neji is still an ass, but he's been a little less so too. I am a genius. AND it is scientifically proved._

_At any rate, Ino thinks I'm an idiot for dating Sakura. Well... I am so... ah. She's right._

_Well, I have to sleep now, bye._

_Naruto._

**oOoOoOoOoOo **Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.** -D. Adams oOoOoOoOoOo**

For Naruto, Friday passed at a slow pace, yet far too fast. The date was drawing closer with each passing moment and he was regretting his choice of partner strongly by now.

He was standing in his room, trying to decide what to wear.

Jeans perhaps? Or would that be too casual? Argh! Why did people do this kind of thing?!!

He stared at his bed. It was filled with clothes, lying in one big heap after being thrown there one by one.

One time he accidentally threw a clothing on Gaara who was lying in bed reading, he didn't appreciate it.

Naruto chewed on his thumbnail, thinking intently. This was his first date, how should he know what to wear?!

Suddenly he heard Gaara's voice from behind him:

"Take the black jeans, the orange t-shirt with the black swirl and that black hoodie to the left."

Naruto spun around, staring at his roommate, temporarily speechless. Gaara filled the silence with another whole sentence:

"You don't have to stare at me; I just gave you advice so that you'd stop disturbing me with your mumbling and tossing of clothes" Naruto regained the above-primate part of his brain and smiled widely.

"Thanks, Gaara!" He chirped, in a very un-manly fashion, rushing to dress in the clothes the redhead had suggested.

**oOoOoOoOoOo****I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.**** – Winston ChurchilloOoOoOoOoOo**

_Friday night date with Naruto and Sakura: Fairytale or Fail?_

_19.55: Naruto shows up at Sakura's dorm to pick her up._

_20.27: Sakura is ready to leave._

_20.28: Sakura forgot something._

_20.46: Naruto and Sakura is in the car, heading towards the restaurant._

_21.00: They arrive._

_21.34: The main dish arrives and Naruto says his first whole sentence for the evening._

_21.57: Naruto leaves for the bathroom, he gets to speak his second whole sentence in the evening._

_21.58: While Naruto is gone, Sakura flirts shamelessly with the guy at the next table._

_21.59: The guy at the next table's date is not happy._

_22.00: Sakura argues heatedly with the guy at the next table's date, the guy at the next table looks miserable._

_22.03: Naruto returns from the bathroom and sees the scene from a distance._

_22.04: Naruto, filled with compassion for the guy at the next table, makes hand-signs towards the door to the guy at the next table who catches on._

_22.05: The guy at the next table sneaks away from the battle of the two dates._

_22.07: Naruto and the guy at the next table sneaks out the door, leaving the 'ladies' with the bills._

_23.58: The 'Ladies' discover what happened at 22.07..._

**oOoOoOoOoOo**Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. –Douglas Adams**oOoOoOoOoOo**

The two boys stumbled out into the cold night air, laughing uncontrollably. They stood there for a while, gasping for air, giggling slightly every now and then.

"Maybe we should get out of here" the other boy said finally "Sooner or later they'll discover it and then we're in big trouble…"

"Yeah, probably, I wouldn't want those two after me… in any sense" They both laughed.

"So… left or right?" The unknown boy asked. Naruto waved his arm left saying:

"Left, a few blocks from here there's a great coffee shop. Let's go there." And they were off, chatting merrily on their way.

**oOoOoOoOoOoLet us all give our respects to the author. HAIL AUTHOR SAMA!!oOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N: Well, there it is. Review ppl!!**

**Sasuke: I'm still not getting laid.**

**Me: How observant of you to notice that, Sasu-Chan.**

**Sasuke: ....one day...**

**Me: You keep telling yourself that.**

**oOoOoOoOoOoPoor SasukeoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Little Chibi Gaara is thrilled that he finally gets to say more than one sentence. This calls for celebration!! Review, and you get invited to Little Chibi Gaara's party!!**


	3. Of Shakespeare and Tears

**Disclaimer: What you actually though I owned this? O.o Sorry to ruin it for you folks...**

**A/N: Ok... I'm hopeless at updating but positively enough this is actually a page or two longer than usual ^^ so enjoy it...**

**Sasuke: Do you **_**ever**_** update within a month?**

**Me: ...no.**

**Sasuke: -sigh-**

**Me: WHAT?**

**Sasuke: nothing...**

**oOoOoOoOoOo"Two things are infinite: the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the Universe."- Albert **

_Blossoming trees filled with beautiful flowers were everywhere in sight. They clouded his vision, confused his sense of smell and drove him into utter bliss._

_And then he fell, through pink fluffy clouds, into white nothingness._

_Peace came over him, filling his very being._

_A sparklingly white unicorn suddenly appeared, trotting towards him._

_It smiled at him, bending over its head and poking him with its horn._

_Poke._

_It was rather uncomfortable actually._

_Poke._

_Ouch._

_Poke._

"Quittit, damn unic'rn" he mumbled, turning over on his side.

"What?" Answered the unmistakable cold voice of Gaara.

His roommate Gaara.

Son of the Devil Gaara.

_Scary, Gay, Antisocial Gaara._

Fuck.

Naruto shot up into a sitting position, yelling confused and incoherent things which not even he himself could interpret.

Suddenly aware of the body standing next to his bed, he stopped, slowly turning his head to face Gaara's cold gaze.

"Mornin'" he said sheepishly, getting nothing but a grumpy noise in return. He sat perfectly still, staring at Gaara, Gaara stared back.

Naruto felt as if someone had put nervousness, embarrassment, coldness, anger, sarcasm, evilness, awkwardness and silence in a large bucket, stirred slightly and then thrown the result over the two of them.

Aka: He didn't feel good.

They stayed in that very same position for several minutes, Naruto unable to read out anything from Gaara's facial expression. Then the redhead finally spoke, making Naruto go into a state of utter shock which would probably cause him severe trauma later in his life by saying:

"I need help."

Feeling somewhat dumbfounded and also newly awoken, which was never a good combination regarding Naruto, he tried to formulate his thoughts in his head:

"Good that you've realised that"

Silence.

Did he just say that out loud?

Shit. Now Gaara was turning away, fuck. Why was he such an idiot again? Right, born without common sense, that's the one. Damn his parents for this, it was all their genes!

"Eh… hang on, I didn't mean it like that! Gaara, wait, what is it?" Gaara turned, surveying him with a pissed off expression, until finally he seemed to make a decision and said:

"I need your help in rehearsing something." Rehearsing? What?

"What?"

"I have to be in the school play since I am in the special creative program. I need your help to rehearse because they say I don't read my lines realistically."

Well, that wasn't so hard to imagine… Naruto glanced at the watch on his bedside table. 08.07.

On a Saturday.

Great.

Oh well, what don't you do for your antisocial roommate?

-

"So, what play is it?" It was 08.32 and they had finally got themselves ready for rehearsal, sitting on the floor in the middle of the room.

"Romeo and Juliet" Naruto had a very hard time keeping his face straight- Gaara in a romantic Shakespeare play…

"And what part do you play?" He barely had the nerve to hear the answer. But honestly, it couldn't very well be Romeo, who in their right mind would give the main part in a love story to _Gaara_?

"…Romeo"

"Who in their right mind would give the main part in a love story to _you_?" Damn. Still not completely awake it seemed.

Gaara frowned.

"I am a good actor… normally."

"What do you mean 'normally'?" Naruto demanded, thrilled by the prospect of actually having a real conversation with Gaara.

"…I'm not good at the love scenes…" Oh. Well. That just got a little bit too intimate.

"So you're bad at realistically acting in love." Naruto confirmed.

"Yes."

"Let's get cracking then, shall we?" The best way to handle a bad situation: ignore it… doesn't always work but this time he actually managed.

They kept reading lines for the next hour, and Naruto soon discovered Gaara wasn't lying when claiming to be a good actor. He was brilliant in all parts- except the love scenes. Which were lenty considering what play it was…

"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt; therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me." He read out in a dull voice containing to passion whatsoever.

Naruto groaned, placing his hand on his forehead.

"That's shit!" he had learned to be painfully open towards Gaara this last hour. Gaara looked up.

"That's why I need help." Who knew Gaara could be such a hopeless case?

"Yeah, I know, I know… look, Gaara, how come you can't read the love lines with the same feeling as the other ones?" Gaara looked thoughtful, not answering for a long while.

"I suppose... I know how to act out the other feelings because I have felt them in real life".

Wow. That was one big confession.

Naruto couldn't help but to be confused, staring wide-eyed at Gaara.

"But what about Lee? He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"

"Yes." Oh well, that was easy. But then again, they had practically made out in front of him so it wasn't like Gaara could hide it.

"Then, uh, picture the way you feel when you are, um, with him and, uh, use that to read the lines" Gaara seemed to consider this carefully before nodding slowly. "Good, then we will just continue rehearsing. Say that last line again" Naruto said brightly, finally feeling they were coming somewhere with this.

"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt; therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me." He said, though not in the soft love-filled voice which Naruto had expected. Instead, it came out like a husky growling sort of noise which had strange shivers shoot up along Naruto's spine. He actually felt himself become flustered before he could regain his normal composure.

"W-well… uh, that was…" in loss of words, he just stared desperately at Gaara, who stared back at him with his usual emotionless expression.

Naruto decided not to point out the full extent of how creepy it was hearing Gaara quote Shakespeare with the air of someone waiting to pounce and violently rape someone else. He silently asked himself just what kind of relationship Gaara and Lee had, but though it better not to ask. Instead, he patiently continued to try and guide Gaara to at least sound somewhat passionate when he was speaking.

The task continued throughout the whole day, and the next, and still there was almost no improvement in Gaara's act. Excited due to the fact that Gaara was finally starting to acknowledge him as his roommate, Naruto promised to continue helping the redhead every day.

The idiot.

**oOoOoOoOoOo oh romeo!! oOoOoOoOoOo**

**English Paper – my dearest memory. By: Uzumaki Naruto.**

**The sun shone on me back then, as it never will again, and our smiles mirrored each others. Warmth and love was so obvious then, so natural. It all was. Mom, Dad, You and Me. All togheter.**

**-**

**English Paper – my dearest memory. By: Uzumaki Naruto.**

**I never knew pain then. I only knew what love could be and bring. Happiness was easy as we ran side by side.**

**-**

**English Paper – my dearest memory. By: Uzumaki Naruto.**

**The grass was soft beneath our feet and we laughed together in the sun. No worries could get to us as we played on our lawn. Everything was so simple. So easy to understand. I miss those times the most.**

**oOoOoOoOoOo WTH was that? oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Dear Journal._

_This sucks._

_I can't understand why I suddenly can't focus on my schoolwork; it's as if half my brain wasn't paying attention!!_

_I can't even write a stupid English essay!_

_I ROCK AT ENGLISH ESSAYS!!_

_GAH!_

_And I have to help Gaara with his rehearsals too... I think he's possibly getting worse. How can someone so good at acting normally be so bad at acting in the love scenes?_

_It's like he really doesn't know love. Poor Lee to have him as a boyfriend, and he is such a nice guy too. I wonder how he ever managed to end up with Gaara... maybe it was the looks._

_But seriously, even if Gaara is hot I would never date him, his temper is far too weird, and he's really cold._

_OMG!!! _**(A/N: Even though the story does not reveal it, here the almighty Naruto let out a very.. uh..**_** feminine **_**yell. Naruto: What are you indicating? That was a perfectly normal shout of surprise!! Me: You screamed like a girl. Naruto: DID NOT!!!)**

_I am not thinking about dating Gaara as if it was natural!! BAD BAD NARUTO!!_

_This is all because I was thinking of him and Lee and drew COMPLETELY NATURAL conclusions, of course I also compared based on own experience._

_It's all perfectly normal._

_And perfectly straight._

_Good night._

_Naruto_

**oOoOoOoOoOo Pooor bushybrows ;_; have to put up with nasty boyfriend Gaara oOoOoOoOoOo**

And so the new week started, Naruto couldn't really say he was looking forwards to going back to school and facing Sakura but it wasn't like he had much of a choice anyway… He had slowly started to adjust to his new environment and learned how to smoothly make it through the day. He even made a small guide for himself, not that he ever would reveal that to anyone. Especially not Kiba, whom he had been spending an increasing amount of time with, along with Ino and the others. He was also quite successful regarding ignoring the bastards. He would only speak to Neji or Sasuke when it was an absolute necessity and then he would keep a calm, collected manner. Their French-project was now progressing rapidly, though not rapidly enough to make up for the lost time the first cold glaring lessons caused.

So, the two bastards (now a rather fond nickname) decided that Thursday afternoon it was an obligation for them all to study French in the blonde's dorm, since according to them their roommates would be displeased if the trio studied there.

Naruto silently argued that _displeased_ wouldn't even begin to cover what Gaara would be when he realised that his private tutor not only was unable to help him practice for the entire Thursday evening but his room would also be occupied by two emotionally stunted teenagers too many. As a matter of fact, Naruto thought that it could be fun to see how the three would interact with one another.

So, as a result to all of the above Thursday evening found Naruto in a very tight spot, what he liked to refer to as being stuck between an icicle, an icicle and another icicle. He sat crosslegged on his bed, surrounded by papers and books, his desk was occupied by Neji who was radiating an aura of chilly malcontent and Sasuke was sitting at the other table, spending half of the time glaring menacingly at the desk's owner. Gaara on the other hand, was lying on his front in bed, the script f the play propped up on his pillow, and the only one he paid heed to was Naruto.

Since this was not what one would call the "ideal working environment" they didn't get much done. Instead, since Naruto already had given up on getting anything useful done, the blonde decided it was time for…: (and this is what the so-called genius came up with…)

_Bastard-Bonding._

Naruto was actually quite pleased with himself for coming up with such a fitting name. So, to start this not-so-fool-proof plan he smiled brightly at the three sulking teenagers and happily suggest that they play a game.

Usually Naruto would have laughed himself silly at the expression on each of the three's faces, they all seemed to be amazed beyond recognition by what they considered stupidity.

He continued to smile brightly at them, sure in himself that they would soon give in and start his miraculous plan of _Bastard-Bonding._

"Not in a million years"

"Not happening, dobe"

Grunt. (that was Gaara agreeing with the others XD)

No such luck…

Damn.

**oOoOoOoOoOo "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain oOoOoOoOoOo**

**Uzumaki Naruto – Guide to Konohagakure High School.**

_Individual register._

Yamanaka Ino:

Year: Mine :D

Main good points: Happy, enthusiastic and outgoing, also very knowledgeable about social stuff. (She's like a female me…)

Main Bad points: Easily angered, gossiper, annoying at times and constantly talking. (Uhhh… She's like a female me -_-')

Good to know: Never mention the word 'Pig' in front of her.

Review: (1/10 where ten is best) 9 She's a really good friend and I trust her. :D:D

**oOoOoOoOoOo **Life is a sexually transmitted disease

**? oOoOoOoOoOo**

Time past without any further attempts from the two bastards at having a studynight, instead Naruto used every minute of his spare time to help Gaara rehearse for his play, and gradually, Gaara became better and better at playing Romeo. This made Naruto partially happy for Gaara who he now considered his friend and also proud to be such a good teacher, but every silverlining has a really dark cloud behind it, which Naruto soon discovered.

He had been seeing less and less of Lee the past weeks, and assuming it was because Gaara had much to do, he didn't put much thought into it, until one Friday evening when Gaara was rehearsing with his theatregroup and there was knock on the door. In stumbled Lee, crying like he wanted to get rid of every last drop of water in his body.

Startled, Naruto took him in, comforting him clumsily while Lee continuously bawled at his chest.

"There there" he tried, uncomfortably patting the other man on the back "what is it?"

It took many tries before Naruto could get any coherent words out of Lee's mouth, and when he did, he wished he hadn't.

"I-it-t's G-Gaara" Lee sobbed, still crying what seemed to Naruto as the same consumption of water as was held in the Nile "H-he doesn't- l-l-l-love me anymore" and with that he gave sort of a long-pitched wail.

Okay.

Definitely not something he wanted to meddle in, especially by saying what he thought; Gaara didn't love anyone.

But Lee stubbornly went on:

"He's b-been al-m-most ignore-ing me th-he last weeks a-a-and he refus-ees to see m-me" Naruto tried to talk it off by saying that Gaara had been busy with his play.

This was immediately countered with the fact that plays hadn't bothered their relationship before, and then turned into a confession where he told Naruto that he had his suspicions that the red-head in fact didn't love him at all, and it was really probably all for the sex.

And there is where poor Naruto couldn't handle it any more, this had gotten far too intimate for his liking, so, just to get Lee out of the room, he promised that he would talk to Gaara about it. This seemed to calm bushybrows and he allowed himself to be ushered out of the dorm.

**oOoOoOoOoOo **In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. – Mark Twain**oOoOoOoOoOo**

_Dear Journal._

_This is some shit._

_I promised Lee I would talk to Gaara, but what am I supposed to say to him?_

'_Hey Gaara, your boyfriend seems to think you only like him for the sex'?_

_Why did he tell me that anyway??_

_WHY DID HE TALK TO ME??_

_I don't know him that well!!_

_WHY?_

_WHYY?_

_WHY DOES THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME??!!!!_

_Damn it._

_Damn Gaara._

_Stupid Gaara._

_Ignoring his boyfriend like that, making me take care of the consequences._

_Oh well…_

_I suppose I have to talk to him._

…_Or commit suicide._

_Hmmm… tricky choice, tricky choice…_

_Oh well, good night._

_Naruto._

**oOoOoOoOoOoCan anybody spell Rant? -_-'oOoOoOoOoOo**

He did it Sunday night, after fearing it the entire weekend. Gaara had been praised for his improvement at the theatregroup's meeting and seemed, surprisingly, quite pleased with himself. So Naruto took a deep breath, thought something along the lines of 'oh well, can't get any more stupid than doing this' and spoke:

"Uh. Gaara?"

Grunt. Oh good, he was listening. (note the sarcasm)

"I… uh… talked to Lee the other day."

Now he really had the others attention, since named redhead actually looked- sorry, _glared_- at him.

"And.. um.. he seems to think you don't like him anymore and… it sounds like you've treated him pretty coldly and…" Naruto ranted on, not quite sure how to put his words "..you might want to think of perhaps.. uh… you know I thought you were getting along good since you seem to be getting better at playing a l-lover and stuff, so you know maybe you should talk to him or somet-" He was cut off from this mindless flow of words by a pair of lips on his own.

It took some time for him to realise what was happening, and even then it couldn't quite register to his brain. Soft flesh that moved against his mouth, a warm tongue trying to part his lips. And it felt... good? He couldn't even get his feelings straight.

And then reality hit him.

Hard.

_Gaara was kissing him!!!_

**oOoOoOoOoOo"My Imginary friend thinks you have serious problems"oOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N: So, how was it? (I know that I didn't include the mystery person Dear Naru met last time but don't worry, he'll show up) **

**Gaara: Surprisingly good… -smirk-**

**Sasuke: -Seizure- G-gghht!!!**

**Naruto: Why is it always me? Don't you people have anything else to do?!!**

**oOoOoOoOoOo"Hur säger man till en sån tjej, du vet sjunga är inte min grej… men jag e ett jävla kap för jag har läst matte å läran om stadsvetenskap" –TrubadurenoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Little Chibi Gaara would love to continue his makeout session, REVIEW TODAY!!**


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